I’m unemployed

Almost 2 months ago I was laid off from my job. A job that was good and challenging and held up a lot of my indentity. I’ve worked for literally decades to be a senior leader. To make a good salary. To help people and now it's gone. Below is the post I wrote for LinkedIn with some added commentary. Losing your job is hard. Losing a job that feels like your identity is really hard. 

For the first time since I was 15, I am unemployed. I’ve actually been working since I was around 10. This could be why I’m ready to retire at 43! It’s strange and uncomfortable, to say the least. That's probably why it’s taken me a minute to announce it publicly. Over the last 18 months I’ve known too many talented people who have lost their security, their colleagues and a major part of their identity. It’s disheartening to see this happen to my friends and now, to find myself navigating this same unexpected change. It's hard sharing a vulnerable part of myself. Reassessing who I am and what I can do feels daunting, but also like an opportunity. As much as I share on here and talk about huge panties and dried up ovaries, I put off sharing this. Why? Answer: I don't fully know. I probably should figure it out but I took a break from therapy in April- genius timing on my part. 

Life is full of transitions. Those who know me well know that I’ve experienced many of them already. I’ve spent the last few weeks reacquainting myself with all the stages of grief and I'm at acceptance with the end of my time at DermTech. The reality is that when I wrote this I was at acceptance. But grief isn’t clean and clear. It is messy and human. In the weeks since writing this I’ve gone back to fear, anger, sadness, depression, all of it. I’ve used the few weeks to reflect, reset, but most importantly (prepare for the Olympics) to sit in gratitude for the last 3 years. It was also helpful that I left the day after the layoff for a trip that I had been planning for a year. As I floated around the sea and ate so very much cheese and meat I had time to just think... about what I wanted, what my heart could take and what was next. I've recommitted to my beliefs around HR/People Ops including the value of transparency, flexibility and being more human at work. I've learned from and worked with brillant people, I've been exposed to life-changing science and I've gotten to do it with a tremendous and supportive People team. I loved my team so much and I think a lot of the grief is around them. 

So now I stand at the crossroads of the Olympics and paying bills aka “what’s next?” While there's a lot to be anxious about again probably not the greatest time to have quit therapy and don't get me started on being in your last year of cancer treatment without the safety of your employer's insurance, I’m choosing to see this as a chance for growth. From a practical standpoint I’m interested in consulting for anyone who needs HR strategy to boots on the ground help. My heart is still committed to HR for now or until I figure out how to become Snoop at the Olympics.  Although most of my experience is in Biotech, I am open to all industries and ready to jump in wherever I can be helpful. You can each me at madonna@solutionsmmd.com. Here's to the journey ahead, wherever it may lead! 

While working on this new venture (MMD Solutions is now live) and figuring out how the heck an introvert is going to create a business that depends on networking, I'm also enjoying a little more time for writing, thinking and sunshine.  Sharing my writing feels scary each time, but then I do it and the other side of getting it out of my brain is so freeing. I hope that sharing with you all gives you hope if you're in a similar position, empathy if you're not and awareness in case you could be.